Agnosticism ?

The nostalgia was so thick and heavy, that he had wiped his face off it. He was back to his swinging chair, and lukewarm water, and sore throat. He wanted to become a writer after almost satisfying his left hemisphere with electrical engineering masters. Thankfully his mind was not very keen of getting in four years of life-loss. He romanticized with the idea of academic career, but it looked very mundane and boring to him, and he gave up on it even before he had finished his masters. Oscar Wilde had murmured in his ears, “Anything that is worth learning can be learned outside school.” His mother also warned him once.

-why do you want to get degrees and degrees on your CV, a classmate of mine got degrees in 3-4 disciplines, yeah he might be brainy but to what avail. It was more of soul-searching for him in course books, and academic corridors.  Don’t try to be that.

 It was logical, getting a degree is not an answer to  “i still haven’t found what i am looking for”.  To speak the truth he wanted to write. Write as classical as Joyce, as emotional as Ishiguro, as sarcastic as DBC Pierre and Upmanyu Chatterjee, as epic as Tolkien, and yet have his own style and panache. These would become his idols; or rather they already were his idols. Ever since when he was ten,  deep sea adventure of Jules Verne enthralled him, he was smitten by magic of words, first it was crush, then it evolved into beautiful love, a lifelong relationship.

It would immensely please his grandmother, that little boy was reading Hindu religious books, well truth be told, the boy was enthralled by the story the books provided, the epic stories of kings, gods and demons were way too interesting. In the same spirit he would delve in biblical stories, and make his teachers at catholic school happy. The moment the story got over, he could not fathom the way religion ruled onto people mind and heart. He experimented with devout religiousness and when he did not like it, he altogether shunned it. Religion was like a love-hate relationship for him, and so he anointed himself as agnostic rather than an atheist.

Quite often his dinner table remarks on old texts and religion came as surprise and shock to his more religious friends. He had his own deep concept of some power, and the current existing religious concepts were just like a story, or some alien conspiracy theory as mentioned in the documentary he was watching this weekend. Yet the mythology intrigued him, and he would like to search for similarities between Hinduism, Greek, roman, Christianity and Islam, rather than focusing on differences which everyone did inadvertently or otherwise. Imagine by john Lennon should have been his war cry. (He also cursed his word processor, which pointed out every now and then, that the name of religions should be in Caps.)

Amnesia for words :|

It isnt usually like this. Writers know that writing is their best fall back, but then taking a gap of 80 days to scribble something. It very well might be my longest gap. The inequities of fight between right and left brain is to be blamed.

I dont even gather how last days have been, yes ms got finished, gave exams amidst an ongoing internship, and then founders institute came in. It has been a rush, a mad rush. So all I can think for a post is a weekly chronicle. Not done dude !!

loading <Afflatus>…

I may write about Steve Jobs biography that I am halfway through, that yes Jobs was a asshole, and a sucker for his artistic taste, which made Apple so unique. Or the joy of seeing particle accelerator other day, it was a sheer eloquence of science. And then there is an infinite gyaan to be ushered on entrepreneurship, technopreneurship and startups. Behold. It is like pulling words from a tug-of-war with, well Hercules.

Or may be I should start delving on what is next from Ishiguro I should delve in? Or shall it be ‘the last song of dusk’, atleast the writing seems to be good. “but always listen to your balls”. Reminds me of Upamanyu Chatterjee. A customary visit to my table will reveal that I have nothing to read, except Mr Jobs, Ulysses – which I am always afraid to start, whether I will be able to do justice to the elegance of this masterpiece. And then ofcourse there is Startup Weekend, TI datasheets. <stop> And what the heck is DBC Pierre doing these days, cant he write something new 😐

May be I need another day or two of silence, away from world wide web or something. Or may be you can just concentrate here, instead of calling shenanigans. Oh so you google writers block, and get…

The only light came from the kitchen sink from the hall, it was rebellious and wanted to tear apart the dark and photon-derelict ambiance that the protagonist aimed to create. On the brighter side it created silhouette and shadows which gave a queer sense of belonging and he was lost in words.

He has been lying there on couch since morning, how could someone have missed him?  He frantically searched around on internet, and got some snippets for those lost at words.

“The scariest moment is always just before you start [writing]. After that, things can only get better.” – Stephen King
“Well, yes this has some logic”, and he rolled over his post to reconfirm. He wished to sign off from the post with a red marker, on a white board, when the smell of it intoxicates the owner for few milliseconds, and he stays in that transcendental trance state. The quick flex of metacarpals, <or is it metatarsal, some one from medical >and flourish of ego, and comes the signature. Too bad these stupid wordprocessors and online blogs dont have this.
So yes I sign off in less dramatic way with someone called Norman Mailer
“Writer’s block … is simply a failure of ego.”   Let me get my ego succeed and I will be back.

PS: For improved relevance replace writer with blogger, writing with blogging

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